I'm eating all of the evidence.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
