Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A+ Viking dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
