dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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