i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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