Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
