My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
