Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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