I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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