There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
