I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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