You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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