You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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