Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize