google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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