im drinking this country out of the recession.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize