I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
