before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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