Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
