pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
