btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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