so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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