You can't motorboat a personality
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
