I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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