she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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