i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
