i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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