he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
