i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
