It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
