it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
