Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
