This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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