I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
