I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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