I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Randomize
