quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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