Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
