I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
