My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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