i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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