the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
