so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
