I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
