maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
