wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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