so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
