A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
