Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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