I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
