Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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