I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
