I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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