I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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