she was so not down for the gang bang
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize