Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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