after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
