There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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