Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
tell me about the fingering
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
