Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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