Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
