i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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