i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I need moral support for this bender
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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