According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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