Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
