Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
