Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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