**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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